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Just Found Out I Have Peyronie's Disease And I Hate Myself

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I just found out that I have peyronies disease and I hate myself for it. Honestly, I want to kill myself, except for the fact that I have a wife (who I'm afraid will leave me or cheat on me now) and a son.

Combination of pills

I love both of them with all of my heart, but I am probably going to end up looking like a side show circus soon and no cure for it in sight. This is right after I lost 30 pounds, my wife lost weight, and my son is doing really well with everything now. What kind of a man can I be to my wife now? What kind of man will she see me as now? To not have anyone directly by my side through this would kill me.

Then I find out I have to wait a whole 18 months to see how curved or small my penis will get? That is absolute torture and I honestly don't know how to cope. I had big plans for joining back up my tennis group and having romantic get away with my wife in about 6 months. I might be a mangled 90 degree twisted small penis by then. How am I supposed to pull that out in front of my wife with any confidence?

Maybe I should go ahead and bite the bullet. I had big plans to publish a book am proud to be working on and now I have no drive or motivation because of this horrible disease.

Comments On This Article

  1. Birgir 5th July 2014

    Dear Dark Place

    Thank you very much for sharing your Peyronie's story with us. I have written you a long private e-mail but then I realized I don't have your e-mail address as you didn't tick the contact boxes. I hope you will send me your e-mail address so I can send you the e-mail. But there are some points I would like to raise here.

    First of all, it is very understandable that you feel the way you feel now. Most men are devastated when they learn they have Peyronie's disease. However, most soon realize it does not have to be the end of all. Yes, there is no cure but there are treatment options. And the sooner you start a treatment, the better results you can expect.

    This Article contains an overview of the most common surgical and non-surgical treatment options. Surgical treatments are always the last option and never done until men have reached the stable phase. You are the right candidate for some non-surgical treatments as you are in your acute phase. You can find more information about each treatment option on this website.

    So DON'T just "wait and see" for 18 months. If that is what your doctor told you, then you should see another doctor... someone with experience of treating men with Peyronie's. I cannot recommend any one doctor but APDA (Association of Peyronie's Advocates) has Physician Finder Opens in new window symbol that you may find helpful (if you have not seen a doctor already, then you should do so NOW).

    You should not hate or blame yourself, or your wife, for your Peyronie's disease. Peyronie's is just like any other illness or accident. It happens and we just have to deal with it the best we can.

    You have a loving family, which can be priceless... if you let it. Assuming your wife will not stand by you sounds harsh. Have you talked to her about how you feel? Have you asked her how she feels? The shape of your penis is likely to be less damaging to your marriage than your attitude, i.e. if you don't communicate with her.

    Ask yourself how you would feel or behave if she had some problems "down there". Would you leave her or cheat on her? Or would you want to be involved and try to work with her to find a solution that would work for both of you?

    Peyronie's can actually make marriages stronger... if people keep the lines of communication open and stay intimate. Worrying about not be able to have sex in the future does not help. You can have sex now and no matter what, you will always be able to stay intimate. After all, the biggest and best sex organ is the brain!

    These articles about dealing with Peyronie's as a couple may be useful read at this point:

    Coping With The Emotional side Of Peyronie's
    Get Through Peyronie's together As A Couple
    Sex And Peyronie's Disease

    And this article may be helpful read for your wife:

    Advice For Partners Of Men With Peyronie's Disease

    Sorry if this sounds like a touch love (which it is), but you need to put things into perspective. Count your blessings; you have a wife and son that you love. Don't let Peyronie's take that away from you. It is not worth it.

    There is a famous saying that sounds something like “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional”. This in many ways fits Peyronie's very well. Yes, your penis and sex life may never be the same as before. But if you act now, you may be able to minimize the effect Peyronie's will have on your life, i.e. by stopping, even reversing, the progression of the disease. It's not going to be easy, neither physically or mentally BUT it does not have to ruin your life... unless you let it.

    No one knows what the future holds; fretting about it in advance will not change anything. Taking actions on the other hand may.

    So don't let Peyronie's get in your way. Continue with your plans but add Peyronie's as another project to work on. Don't wait and see, take action. Learn all you can about the disease, seek professional help and start treatment a.s.a.p. And you MUST involve your wife, go through this together.

    I wish you all the best and I thank you for sharing your experience with My Peyronie's readers. I hope some of My Peyronie's readers will join in the discussion with some advice and encouragement.

    I hope you will stay in touch and keep us posted about your progress. And if there is anything you think I may be able to assist with, please be in touch.

    Best regards,


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Hello, I'm Birgir

This website is based on my experience of Peyronie's disease