What Can Peyronie's Partner Do?
Having the support of a Peyronie's partner like you is priceless for any man with Peyronie's disease.
Every couple has their own way of supporting each other through difficult times. However, the following advice should be helpful if you are looking for ways to support your man with his Peyronie's disease.
Do Your Research
Knowledge is power and the more you know about the Peyronie's disease the better equipped you are to support your partner through it.
This section is especially for partners of Peyronie's sufferers like you, but read the other sections on my website too. Learn as much as you can about the disease.
It is important that you know what you are dealing with and how it can affect your partner, both physically and emotionally. You will be in better position to discuss the disease with him and to support him with the decisions he has to take about his Treatments.
Moreover, Peyronie's partners often play vital role in pointing men with Peyronie's in the right direction. This is especially the case of men who have problem accepting that they have Peyronie's disease and are not conducting their own research.
Time is your enemy when dealing with Peyronie's. The sooner your partner starts his treatment, the better results he can expect.
Choose The Right Time And Place
It can be difficult to talk about sensitive issues like Peyronie's. It is therefore vital for any Peyronie's partner to pick the right time and place.
The bedroom is never the right place. You should never discuss anything sensitive like Peyronie's while in bed.
The right place is anywhere (except the bedroom) where you feel comfortable and relaxed and can talk privately without being interrupted. Avoid places where you can be overheard since that will inhibit you both from talking freely. You probably know where your right place is.
The right time is when you have enough time to discuss this for as long as needed and without being interrupted. For example, don't start discussions if you have to leave for work soon or the kids are due back from school any minute.
Also, and this may sound obvious, but do turn off your cell (mobile) phone. There is no reason to risk having your phone going off at a sensitive moment.
You must make sure you communicate clearly and eliminate any possible misunderstanding or misconception from the beginning.
Under no circumstance, blame him for his Peyronie's, or just as importantly do not blame yourself. Peyronie's is no one's fault and blaming either of you will get you absolutely nowhere.
Ask him gentle and open questions. How does he feel? What does he want to do? What can you do for him? And listen carefully to what he has to say.
Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. It is fine to tell him that you are anxious too and as his Peyronie's partner, you are not sure what to do. He may actually feel better knowing that you share many of his feelings, that he is not alone and his feelings are perfectly normal.
Above all, reassure him. Reassure him about your love, your unconditional support, and your sex life.
Make sure he knows you want to support him, not leave him (that leaving him is not an option). And don't forget to reassure him about your sex life.
Your partner is likely to feel vulnerable in this area of his life. Most men have a very “strong and special relationship” with their penis, it is usually closely associated with their self-esteem and feeling of self worth.
Reassure him that the shape of his penis (if curved or deformed) does not bother you at all. Tell him you enjoy your sex life and that you want to stay intimate with him. Make sure he knows that you are willing to work with him to find ways to let your sex life work for both of you.
Your aim should be to “talk less and listen more”. By listening, you will discover his exact concerns. That way you can address his concerns directly and eliminate any misconceptions before any lasting damage is done.
Talking is important but not all men are comfortable with expressing their feelings, especially about sensitive issues like Peyronie's and their penis. In those cases, Peyronie's partners have to find other ways to communicate and Being Intimate is one way of communicating.
Intimacy is the glue that can help your relationship to survive anything. Intimacy is one of the best support tools you as Peyronie's partner can use to help your man fight his Peyronie's disease.
Be There For Him
Just being there for him is also important. Make sure your partner knows you are there for him, whenever he needs you... you are there.
Offer “shoulder to cry on”, be his “sounding board” when needed, offer advice and support. Be patient with him but push him gently if needed. Be his friend as well as his partner and lover.
Show Empathy Not Sympathy
Feeling sorry for your man will not help him, if anything it can make him feel even worse. No one wants to be pitied.
On the other hand... knowing that your partner understands what you are going through, or at least is trying to, is very helpful for most men.
Of course the only people that really know how it feels to have Peyronie's disease are other men with Peyronie's.
Knowing that you care and you are making real effort to understand what your man is going through is a tremendous help to any man with Peyronie's disease.
Put Yourself In His Shoes
Try to put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if you got similar “personal” disease, e.g. lost a breast, or could not have children? Would you feel any less of a women? Should you?
Might that be how he is feeling... less of a man?
Being able to relate to how your partner feels will help you address the issue and to show him the empathy he deserves.
Remember, Peyronie's disease can make relationships stronger but it can also break them. It is up to you and your partner how your relationship fares. Being a supportive Peyronie's partner is likely to make your relationship stronger than ever before.