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Coping With Peyronie's Without Partner
I have no experience of coping with Peyronie's without partner as I was happily married when I discovered my Peyronie's disease.
I can though easily envisage two special areas of concerns for single men with Peyronie's disease.
Firstly, where to find the emotional support which men in relationships usually get from their partners. Secondly, how to approach new sexual partners, e.g. when and how should you tell them about your Peyronie's disease.
Where To Find Emotional Support?
In principle, the same coping strategies apply as for men with partners. You should take control and research everything you can about the disease and start your chosen treatment as soon as possible. Healthy lifestyle will help you to keep up your strength and spirit and keeping things in perspective is always important.
Do not isolate yourself, so seek help and support... and this is where it may become more difficult for those coping with Peyronie's without partner.
If you are coping with Peyronie's on your own, consider confiding in a trusted friend or family member, e.g. sibling or a parent. Peyronie's disease is very “intimate” disease so consider the people around you carefully.
Which people would you feel comfortable talking to about such an intimate matter? Which people would feel comfortable talking to you about such an intimate issue? Which people do you trust to be as discreet (or open) as you prefer? Which people might (or have) come to you with their intimate issues?
Put yourself in their shoes. Would they like the opportunity to support you when needed? Would you not like the opportunity to support them if they needed support?
It is very likely that number of people would be happy to support you in your Peyronie's fight. However, you have to involve them so they can do so. I'm sure taking the plunge is not easy but it is still likely to be much easier than you anticipated in advance... so just do it.
If you are coping with Peyronie's without partner and you really don't feel comfortable involving anyone in your “real life”, then check out some of the Peyronie's Forums, they can be great source of support.
Communicating with other men with similar experience is always helpful, they understand many of your concerns and condition better than anyone else can. You may also come across other single men with Peyronie's disease, which could be very beneficial for both of you.
How and When To Inform Your Sexual Partner
About Your Peyronie's Disease?
Most men with Peyronie's disease can still have good and active sex life. However, if you are coping with Peyronie's without partner then you might be concerned about having sex with a new partner for the first time and how and when to explain your disease to your potential bedmate.
As I'm married, I have no experience in this and can only imagine how I think I would tackle this (Peyronie's forums may be helpful to find out what other single men in your position have done).
Firstly, I think I would be quite selective about whom I slept with. I would avoid one-night stands, as I would like to know the woman reasonable well before letting her in my “trousers”, i.e. to feel I could trust her to react in a “mature” way about my situation.
Of course, this may depend on how severe your Peyronie's condition is. Curved penises are not that uncommon (i.e. congenital penile curvature) so she might well have seen bent penis before and think nothing of your penis being bent (i.e. as long as it is not too severely deformed).
Personally, I think I would like to inform my sexual partner in advance, at least if my condition was more advanced. I feel it would not be fair to surprise her like that. Most likely she would be understanding and polite if she only found out in bed. However, I personally would not like to risk it (i.e. if she was not).
So... when and how to inform your sexual partner about your Peyronie's disease?
There is no one answer to that. As I say, I think I would like to do it in advance and I think it would be better to do it before the actual sex was on the horizon, i.e. not wait until we were on our way to bed. I think I would tell soon after we started to become intimate. As they say, it usually all starts with a kiss.
How to tell her? No idea, but guess it is best to just to tell the truth. I would tell her that I had Peyronie's disease which affects the shape of my penis but not my sexual performance or sexual enjoyment (unless it did, then I would have to explain that at some point too but not necessarily at this point).
I would put emphasis on that Peyronie's is not a sexually transmitted disease (STD). I didn't catch it anywhere, it is a result of an injury / trauma to my penis.
She is very likely to appreciate you telling her in advance and to understand that it wasn't easy for you to do so (my wife at least thinks so). However, if not, then I would not take this relationship any further.
Coping with Peyronie's without partner does not have to be daunting, as long as you do not try coping with Peyronie's on your own... there is a big difference between the two.
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