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My Peyronie's Disease Has Made Me Avoid Sex


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I am a gay man. Five and a half years ago when I turned 63 I developed Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and was treated with chemotherapy for 6 months. Five years later I was declared completely cured of the disease. But the disease left its scars.

Alone sad man on a bed

During the 5 year remission period (2 years into the remission period) I developed Peyronie's disease. At first the curvature was quite marked but there was no pain, but the shortening of the shaft was very marked (1.5 - 2 inches), and the deformity (hour-glass with protuberance) was ugly. I was horror struck when I first saw my penis so deformed. My beautiful 9 in+ beauty had been destroyed!

I was also unable to get a full erection and Viagra did nothing to improve this.

I was seen by two doctors an urologist and an andrologist. They localized the scar plaques on the tunica alba by ecography. I was placed on a series of therapies which included L-Acetyl carnithine, L-Arginine, Vitamin E, Penis pump, jelding massages. After 3 years from the onset of Peyronie's disease the curvature has greatly decreased, but the shortening is still marked.

Since the onset of the lymphoma and the subsequent development of Peyronie's disease, I have completely abstained from any sexual relations. In addition to penile shortening I have also developed erectile dysfunction and no matter what I do I cannot get a full erection like before the illnesses.

Dupruyten's contractions in my hands have also developed during this period. Therefore clearly a systematic connective tissue problem has developed in my body during my healing from the lymphoma.

I am very young looking guy and most people think I'm about 45-50 years old. I have been living in a "white" (non-sexual) gay relationship on an isolated farm in Tuscany Italy for the past 20 years. Occasionally in the past before my illness once or twice I might have had a causal fleeting sexual encounter, but now there's nothing. For the past 5 1/2 years I have had no sexual desire at all. It seems that the chemotherapy has destroyed my libido as well.

Now after five years post illness with complete remission I would like to have some sexual relationship in my life but without any libido, and no full erection, plus the decreased size and aesthetics of my penis I avoid all attempts. I did try once, and although I used the penis pump just before the encounter the sexual relation was not consumed when the guy looked at the sorry state of my penis and say NO!

I feel like a part of my being has been completely cut in half, and while I am not depressed I feel this situation has closed the door to any future sexual relationships. I don't want to repeat that rejection experience even a single time again, but even a guy with a scared penis needs intimacy and love. I have become a hermit. 

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  1. Birgir January 9th, 2017

    Dear Lorenzo

    Thank you very much for sharing your experience. First, congratulations for having been cleared of your cancer. That is really great news.

    One of the things that has surprised in this is how many men feel "let down" by their Urologists, i.e. they feel they don't understand how seriously Peyronie's is affecting their mental state. This has always surprised me as most Urologists are male and you would expect them to be easily able to empathize with men with penis problems. You would expect them to understand better than any women could but strangely that is not necessarily the case.

    I guess I'm still don't get this as I was very surprised to hear that a male sexual partner would act in this manner. Again, you would expect another man to know the effect behaviour like this could have on the other man's state of mind. I still like to believe that this kind of behaviour is an exception and not the norm. I can fully understand why you are scared of another rejection but you deserve to have a sex life but the only way to do so is to "go for it".

    I'm happily married man myself so I have no experience of dating with Peyronie's but I hope you will find the strength to resume your sex life. We men often think our penis is the most important thing but it is really our brain that is the biggest and best sex organ. So try to see and think beyond your penis. There are many ways to enjoy sex, just make sure you do so with the right person.

    Still, the penis matters and I believe there are ways for you to improve on your situation. It is really great news that your curvature has greatly decreased. That can be the most challenging thing to rectify for men with Peyronie's disease. And the good news is that you can lengthen the penis with traction therapy. That is if you are willing to put in the time and effort.

    There is no question that traction does lengthen the penis if used for prolonged period of time. That's just how traction works (think of long neck Kayan women in Burma). It however does require commitment, you need to wear the device for up to 8 hours per day for few months for best results. You can realistically expect between 0.5 – 1 cm in penile length per month of use. So to increase your penile length by 1 - 2 inches (2.5 – 5 cm) you are likely to have to use the penis traction device for 6 - 10 hours daily for 3 - 6 months.

    You also need to address your erection quality and there are number of things you can do about it, penis pumps and Viagra are the most obvious options but there are many more things you can do. Some of the erectile treatments may require professional input but others you can do on your own.

    Please consider your options and seek any help you need to restore your sex life. You are too young to give it up.

    I wish you all the best in the future.

    Kind regards,

    Birgir

    Ps. On slightly other notes, as you have Dupuytren's, then you may want to check out this excellent Dupuytren's support group Opens in new window symbol.

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Hello, I'm Birgir

This website is based on my experience of Peyronie's disease